The Show Must Go On
by Fredlyn
Summary: Liz deals with the situations surrounding the death of a king.


Disclaimer: Don't own anything Roswell - please don't sue.

The Vigil

Liz sat next to the bed holding the hand of the man she loved more than life itself for almost a half a century. The illness had started slowly, years before, taking his body first and then a few months ago finally taking his mind, leaving her with just a shell of the man who had been her savior, her soul mate, her lover and finally her king.

She had finished yelling her curses to God, or whoever controlled the universe, years before when the physicians had told them of the disease and the prognosis. Now she had resigned herself to the fact that the end was near. She would soon lose the love of her life. She listened to his breathing. It was shallow but easy. She let go of his hand for just a moment to turn and look out the window.

There standing outside the palace gates were thousands of his subjects, holding sulfur lanterns, in vigil, waiting for the end. She gathered no comfort in seeing the mourners; instead she cursed them under her breath. She understood that he was their king, that her thoughts were selfish but this moment was hers alone, they had no right to think this pain was theirs.

Max stirred in the bed causing her to forget her disdain and turn back to his side. His breathing was more laborious now. She took his hand in hers, threading her fingers with his. The action seemed to calm him. She laid her head upon his chest, listening for the rhythmic sound of his heart. It was no longer steady.

She wrapped her arms around him, willing him to do the same, to hold her in his arms one final time. She felt the tears whelm up in her eyes, knowing the man who she had crossed the vastness of space to be with would soon leave her.

She thought of the time they had lost in their youth, when they had allowed situations to keep them apart, and how now she would give anything to have those lost moments back. Pushing the regret from her mind, she turned her face into his chest, breathing in his scent for a long last moment.

She felt his body tense as he moved his arms, encircling her strongly, proving that even in the end, when his mind and body were supposed to be gone, their connection still held strong, their love still gave them strength. She basked in the feeling of his arms. The arms that had kept her safe, comforted her, and loved her throughout the years.

She looked up to see his majestic eyes opened, looking lovingly down on her. Forcing the tears back, she smiled up at him softly.

"I love you my dearest Liz." He said with the power and intensity of a young man. It was if he hadn't aged a day since he first proclaimed his love.

As the tears trickled down her face as she answered. "I love you Max. I always will."

His eyes closed first, then his arms fell away. She placed her head once more on his chest – trying to find the heartbeat but it was gone. She curled up beside him, her arms wrapped around his body, and wept.

She would mourn alone tonight for tomorrow the show must go on.

The King is Dead

Showered and dressed in her mourning robes, Liz looked into the mirror and studied the worn, red eyes looking back at her. She hadn't slept during the night, choosing instead to stay with her beloved until they had finally forced her from him so they could prepare the body for burial.

She picked up the crown that lay on her dressing table and placed it upon her head. This would be the last time she wore it for tomorrow her daughter-in-law would be queen and the crown would be hers.

One of Liz's ladies-in-waiting walked silently into her room. "They are ready for you ma'am." She said softly.

Liz nodded once and the lady disappeared. She turned back towards the mirror to check herself one last time before lifting her head high and walking through the door to her awaiting public.

Surrounded by guards and followed by her ladies, she walked into the crowded courtyard and took her place. Her children were escorted to her side, each hugging their mother before sitting in their seats. The last to come was her eldest son and the future king, Zan.

Proudly she watched as Zan made his way through the crowd to his position next to her. He was a man now, one whom his father had been proud of. He would make a good king. Finally at her side, he pulled her into a bear hug. She could feel the trembling of his body and knew the boy was hanging on by a thread.

"Be strong." She whispered into his ear, saying it as much for her benefit as his.

She felt him nod before he let go. Looking into his eyes, she knew he had spent the night crying as she had. She felt the first waves of guilt. She had selfishly spent the night, locked away with Max's body and her grief, never thinking of her children and the pain they must feel with the loss of their father. She reached over, grabbing Zan's hand and squeezing it tightly. She would not leave any of her children to mourn alone again.

The music began. Liz recognized the tune as the Antarian Anthem. Max's body was brought solemnly into the courtyard and placed before her. She watched as people filed, crying, by his lifeless body, touching him. She fought the desire to charge up to them and yell for them to stop touching her love, knowing that she had made the choice to share him, long ago when she convinced him not to abdicate his throne, when she had convinced him to live on Antar, to be the kind, just king these people deserved after the torture of Khivar. .

It was her children's turn. Each walked slowly to the body with their families. Liz almost lost her composure when she saw one of her young granddaughters get on her tiptoes so that she could kiss her papa on the cheek. When the child's mother pulled her away a minute later Liz saw the tears streaming down her face. Liz bit her lip, willing back the tears.

The time came for Liz to say her final goodbye to Max. This would be the last time she would ever see his face. She walked slowly up to where he lay.

She looked at his face. Even in death, he was till the most handsome man she had ever laid her eyes on. She reached down and touched his cold hand, the hand that would never again reach for her in the night. She ran her hand down his cheek, then simply bent over and kissed his lips softly.

She turned away, feeling a tear slip down her cheek, and signaled to a military man standing watch that she was finished, the king could now be covered. She, then, walked to her seat, keeping her back to the body while they placed the shroud over him.

She sat as each of the leaders from the other planets spoke. Each about how Max had brought peace, how, without his interventions, the last forty or fifty years would have been years of desolation for their planets. She smiled her fake smile and nodded her head.

After the speeches, the crowd stood as Max's body was taken from the courtyard, completing his journey to his final resting place. She stood as mourners walked past her, offering their condolences. Each face seemed to blur with the next, she didn't care that they were sorry, that they understood, or that they felt her pain. She wanted to scream out that they could never understand what she had shared with this man, but instead she smiled and thanked them for their concern.

Zan linked his mother's arm through his offering her his strength. Then led her out of the courtyard and up the hill. She wanted to stop, to run and hide, to leave the rest of the ceremony to the others, but again, she knew what her duty demanded.

She stood at the grave while they placed his precious body into the sarcophagus and closed the heavy stone lid. Thinking that in just a few short years this pain would be over, when she too would be buried along side of him on this hillside.

The family walked together, back to the palace where a feast had been prepared. She held her family tight until she satisfied herself that they were alright, and then excused herself telling everyone the day had been too trying for her. She went back to her quarters, locked the door and began to weep.

She would mourn alone again tonight for tomorrow the show would continue, the second act would be performed.

Long Live the King

Dressed in the finery for the occasion, Liz walked into the great hall where all the kings of Antar had been crowned. Taking her place in front with the rest of her family, she felt a nudge on her leg. Looking down she found her youngest grandson vying for her attention. She stooped down a bit and kissed his cheek before his father scooped him up scolding him for bothering his grandmother.

She smiled sweetly at the boy and then lied to his father. "It's fine dear. It helps to have my family." She knew her family would be a source of comfort during the days ahead but now they were just a reminder that her love now lay in a grave just outside the doors of this hall.

A few of the elite who had not been able to speak to her the day before came to offer their condolences. She smiled and politely thanked them, secretly just wanting the ceremony to start so she would not have to hear them any longer.

Her youngest daughter, who was a young mother herself, came over to Liz and took a hold of her hand. "I love you mom." She said simply.

Liz smiled and kissed her daughter's cheek. "I love you too baby."

As orchestrated, the music started; a happier version of the anthem that had been played the day before at Max's funeral. Liz stood up and turned towards the door her son would come from. She smiled knowing that was her duty but the happiness was contrived. She was proud of her son and would do nothing to ruin this day for him but she couldn't help think of Max's coronation so many years before.

Zan marched regally down the center aisle, stopping briefly before Liz and handing her the mourning flower of Antar.

Liz smiled proudly as he continued with his wife to the throne. Memories brought her back to Zan's childhood, when he would come running up to his father in this very room wanting to tell Max about some amazing bug or something he had just discovered.

Her thoughts were splintered between the memories of her husband's coronation and the sadness still present from the days before, causing each part of the ceremony to blur with the next.

She remembered how young and new to this planet she had been when Max took his oath. She had only known a few Antarian words at the time. Now she understood the words better than her native tongue but she couldn't focus, she wanted only for this to finish so she could be alone.

During the rest of the ceremony and most of the celebration that followed, Liz kept her face happy by remembering the people who had loved her and Max throughout the years. Her smile was genuine as she thought of Maria yelling at Michael and of Alex trying to impress Isabel. It seemed like only yesterday they were all joking and laughing at the Crashdown.

Once, the painted smile that had served her well throughout these last days almost vanished as she realized those friends were all gone. That she should have been the first to die but through some cruel twist of fate she was now the last.

As the festivities neared the end, she eased herself over to her son, now the king and hugged him firmly. "You're father would be proud."

She lightly pulled away after feeling him nod. Looking up into her child's eyes, eyes so much like his fathers, eyes that at this moment were tearing up, she knew she had to leave. She would not be able to keep her composure much longer.

"Be strong." She said to her son before turning to walk through the doors, her ladies following closely behind.

She dismissed her ladies-in-waiting as soon as it was appropriate. She would finish this night alone.

She walked outside and up the hill towards her lover's grave. She stopped in front of his vault touching the stone face carved in it. The tears had been held back too long, her strength was depleted. She draped her body over his grave and started to weep.

She would mourn alone tonight, under the stars, for the show was over and the curtain had been drawn.


End file.
